She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
