how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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