i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
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I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT