Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work