Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.