just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.