Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?