Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?