after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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