i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
