Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
