Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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