So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
