No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
