wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
