i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
