I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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