Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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