try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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