had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize