Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
