I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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