When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
