Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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