it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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