no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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