woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
