i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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