The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
