he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
