Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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