Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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