i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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