I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
