Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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