just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize