Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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