So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
