my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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