I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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