And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
