Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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