My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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