I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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