Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
