dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
