Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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