i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Enjoy the penises
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
