Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
