Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize