I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
