i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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