well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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