im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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