I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I can feel your judgement through the phone
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
