dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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