i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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