You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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