@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
