Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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