My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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