He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
