just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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