there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
