i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
